I awoke this morning with a quiet mind. I awoke with a sense of peace, a sense of tranquility. The golden hour transformed my bedroom into a golden palace. My walls were brought to life by the awakening sun, my plants were soaking in the glimmering rays, and, as usual, Pixie was basking in the warmth in front of a gleaming window. The sun was putting on a brilliant spectacle for those that were willing to be still for a moment and watch. Everything was quiet, but still so lively.
I’m slowly learning to disconnect myself from the chaos of this world and disassociating myself from society. I took ten steps to the left, pushing through the bustling bodies, and shot out to the side. When I glanced back over my shoulder, I witnessed a rushing tide of Joneses. All shoving, thrashing, and pummeling forward. What they were racing to get to? I could not tell you. Everything worth living for existed outside of the stampede. Observing this obscene contest lead me to consider that what I have believed since the beginning was wrong. I was raised on the fence of two opposing lifestyles. I was given specific expectations to hold and to live a life in a similar order as all of those that had lived before me. I was told that being a certain type of “different” was dishonorable. Over time, I have come to the realization that they had advised me of this in hopes that I would not eventually isolate myself. They had hoped that I would not come to realize the true potential that life possesses.
I’ve finally come to find peace in the realization that the true meaning of life is found beyond the sea of lies that I had been drowning in for a large part of my existence. In all actuality, all of society is ridden with unnecessary suffering, grief, drama, greed, negativity, unhappiness, and more. My will to be and live differently has expanded exponentially as I eradicate the deeply rooted poison in my life. Suddenly, my anxiety has voluntarily put itself to the side when my true grit and bull heart is prepared to fight for what I legitimately believe in. The courage to abruptly cast aside misjudgments and misguidance comes effortlessly. I have rediscovered my underlying tenacity, I have regained my spunk, and I have replaced my back bone with alloy steel. I no longer cower in the corner when darkness falls and the monsters reveal themselves from the protection of the shadows. I have learned to accept and embrace my flaws and weaknesses, so they can no longer be used against me. Acceptance has now become effortless and I am willing to face change head on instead of tremble at its advancements. Even in my weakest moments, I have learned to look up, smile, drink the sky, and breathe in the sun.
My blood rushes for spontaneity, my heart pines for adventure, my soul yearns for genuine interactions, my brain aches for growth and stillness. I have made remarkable plans for my life that are crazy to some, but sensible to me. I have finally reached a peak after what seemed like an eternal journey in a lonesome valley. I am not finished climbing. I am not fatigued. I want to introduce myself to the most brilliant landscapes. I want to reach new heights. This is only the beginning.
“People do not live under your skin.
They don’t have your dreams.
They really do not need a big explanation
of why you do what you do.
A short version should be enough,
but if not,
a long one won’t be enough either.”